


Glimpses Of Realities - Jimmy Kirk Part II

by graceandfire



Series: Glimpses of Realities [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 10:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceandfire/pseuds/graceandfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An eight year old Jimmy Kirk moves to Georgia and meets a sixteen year old Leonard McCoy. And the years go by. </p>
<p>*******************</p>
<p>Jimmy’s always wanted Len’s attention.</p>
<p>From the day they’d first met, in the front yard of Len’s big house, Jimmy eight and Len sixteen, surrounded by half-raked leaves and an overly friendly dog named Beau. The lanky, quietly confident teenager had talked to Jimmy, not with condescension or impatience but just...talked to him.</p>
<p>Ever since then, since Len met that lonely, uprooted kid and invited him into his life and his home, Jimmy’s wanted to make him laugh, to bask in his smile of approval. Hell, he’s even sought out Len’s eye rolls, his lectures, his exasperation, if only to marvel at the fondness that never wavers underneath them all.</p>
<p>Jimmy’s always wanted Len’s attention.</p>
<p>He’s just not sure when exactly he started wanting Len.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glimpses Of Realities - Jimmy Kirk Part II

**Author's Note:**

> It continues to amuse me greatly that when I started this fic it was going to stay Gen. This...is not Gen. 
> 
> Also, thank you so much to [Savoytruffle](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Savoytruffle/pseuds/Savoytruffle) for her wonderful beta while dealing with so many different demands on her attention!

Jimmy’s always wanted Len’s attention.

From the day they’d first met, in the front yard of Len’s big house, Jimmy eight and Len sixteen, surrounded by half-raked leaves and an overly friendly dog named Beau. The lanky, quietly confident teenager had talked to Jimmy, not with condescension or impatience but just...talked to him.

Ever since then, since Len met that lonely, uprooted kid and invited him into his life and his home, Jimmy’s wanted to make him laugh, to bask in his smile of approval. Hell, he’s even sought out Len’s eye rolls, his lectures, his exasperation, if only to marvel at the fondness that never wavers underneath them all.

Jimmy’s always wanted Len’s attention.

He’s just not sure when exactly he started wanting Len.

 

It’s girls he notices first.

He’s ten and they change almost overnight, morphing into intriguing shapes, and acting all weird, walking around in groups, giggling about who the hell knows what. Suzy Patterson looks at him from across the playground with an expression that wavers somewhere between ‘Ew, boy cooties!’ and an invitation to… well, Jimmy doesn’t exactly know, but he really, really wants to find out.

He kisses her, one afternoon behind the monkey bars--he’s hot and sweaty from a kickball game and she wrinkles her nose at him. It’s a quick, tentative peck of lips on lips that lasts about half a second before she shoves him hard and runs, shrieking, back to her circle of giggling friends.

She comes back for more the next day, though, so he must have done something right.

He doesn’t think about Len then. Doesn’t connect this new kissing thing with the person he thinks about the most.

Not yet.

 

It’s boys he notices next.

He’s twelve and Mark Anders has a gap toothed smile. It’s a great smile, open and friendly like the sun with no clouds to darken it. No shadows like the ones in Jimmy’s head that sometimes make him want to start a fight, set off a cherry bomb, something, anything, just to see it happen.

Jimmy’s teaching Mark graphing--the kind of shit that comes so easy to him--and when the frustration falls from Mark’s face with a whoop, when he finally gets it, Jimmy grins, too, and then asks if he wants to kiss. Mark gapes at him for a moment, kind of like a fish, then he snorts and smiles that gap toothed smile and says, “Yeah.”

Jimmy really likes kissing Mark. And maybe for a moment there, in the awkward planting of lips on lips, the click of teeth on teeth, when Mark closes his eyes and his dark hair falls across his forehead, maybe Jimmy flashes to someone else. Maybe he’s so startled by it that he jerks back. But then Mark opens his eyes and it’s just Mark again and Jimmy smiles sheepishly and leans back in for more until Mark’s mom comes into the kitchen and starts yelling.

 

Maybe the seeds are planted then, the knowledge of it buried beneath the vast, fertile field of his unashamed love for Len that’s just there all the time, the steady ground beneath his feet. Maybe the roots are even deeper and it’s only ever been a matter of time.

Either way, at age thirteen, when he walks into the McCoy living room after school and sees Len on the couch macking on Jocelyn Evans, he knows that he wants to grab her stupid blonde hair by its stupid fake highlights and throw her out of the house.

He stands there, violence beating in his heart, until he’s spotted and Len and Jocelyn jump apart like they’re on springs. Then Len gets a good look at him and rolls his eyes. “Fuck, Jimmy, I thought you were mom back early.”

And Jimmy makes his balled up fists relax and pulls a grin up from somewhere. “Nah, just me. I was gonna see if you wanted to play some ball.”

Len’s expression is sheepish. “Oh, uh, can we…?”

“Yeah, later.” Jimmy forces himself to smirk knowingly, which gets him a glare from Jocelyn and a glare from Len, but that’s better than what he’ll get if he lets the lid off the mixed up cauldron of minewantnotyourshurt that’s boiling inside of him.

He lets himself out of the house, spends a couple minutes petting Beau, and then goes and picks a fight with Eddie Lambeux, who’s an asshole. It goes pretty well until Eddie’s two older brothers join in. He ends up with two black eyes and a cracked rib, which kind of sucks, but then Len and Dr. McCoy fix him up. And, yeah, he has to endure lectures and disappointed looks and more lectures, but Mrs. McCoy gives him milk and gingerbread snaps when he flashes her a pitiful look. And Dr. McCoy is gruffly outraged on his behalf that it was three against one. And, okay, Len calls him a “Goddamn fool, Jesus, Jimmy, you ever heard of retreat?” but his hands are gentle as he skims them over Jimmy’s bruises, reassuring himself that Jimmy’s all right.

And suddenly Jimmy is all right.

But then break ends and Len goes back to college. With Jocelyn.

And it’s like the absence of Len gives Jimmy all the time in the world to think about Len. To think about being the one on the couch with him. The thoughts feel squirmingly wrong and so very right.

He vids Len and they talk about classes and the local carnival coming up. Then Len starts talking about a fight he just had with Jocelyn and by the time they sign off Jimmy can feel himself beaming. The next time they talk he waits to hear about their break-up but instead Len talks about taking Jocelyn down to some spring break thing, rolling his eyes at the idea.

Jimmy goes out and gets into another fight. This one gets him in trouble at school and he only gets out of it when he promises to join the football team. He’s not that big yet, but he’s fast and, as Coach says in that wry, dry voice of his, "You've already proven you can take a hit, son. And this’ll give you something to do besides fightin’."

It does give him something else to do. He doesn’t give up the fighting, though. He’s good at it.

 

When Jimmy’s fifteen, he parks in seventeen-year-old Clarice Fortenay’s daddy’s classic Cadillac, and he realizes…well, he realizes Cadillacs are fucking awesome places to have sex and that Clarice is a fucking genius with her tongue. But when she shows him how having someone’s mouth sucking your cock is just about the best idea ever invented, a part of him can’t help but imagine dark hair and full lips and hazel eyes looking up from beneath thick lashes, and then he’s bucking and coming like his life depends on it and Clarice is choking and pulling off as she glares.

He makes it up to her, though. Clarice isn’t the only one with a talented mouth.

 

When he’s sixteen, he almost gets killed by Otto Bartlett—a hulking fullback for Georgia Tech—who comes home for the holidays and decides that Jimmy’s ass needs kicking on account of how maybe Jimmy might have slept with all three of Otto’s sisters. And, shit, Jimmy didn’t say a goddamn word about that, because he’s a goddamn gentleman at least part of the time, and it’s not his fault the triplets went around bragging to their friends.

Anyway, Otto comes looking for him and, well, one thing kind of leads to another. Otto’s got a lot of finesse for a big guy, and Jimmy’s always looking to try new experiences so he loses his last cherry in his bedroom on his hands and knees. Otto’s baritone voice and massive hands are nothing like Len’s but there’s a moment when Otto’s just grunting and his dick’s thrusting and Jimmy’s shuddering and swearing and starting to see stars and all he can think about is how much he wants Len to do this to him and then he’s coming without even a hand on his dick.

He ends up going to a couple of Otto’s home games so they can hook up after but then Otto starts talking about Jimmy going to Georgia Tech and…awkward. He breaks it off gently and feels kind of guilty about the crushed look on Otto’s face.

Jimmy doesn’t go out and get into another fight though. Hey…progress.

And, okay, by this time he knows a few things. First and foremost he knows he and Len are supposed to be together. That’s just a given.

Second, he knows Len. And Len is a creature of habit. And Len thinks Jocelyn’s his girlfriend and Jimmy’s his kind-of-little-brother.

Bottom line, Len’s gonna freak big time if Jimmy doesn’t ease him through the transition.

So, he needs a long-term plan. He needs Len to start thinking of him as a dateable, fuckable grown-up, and not a kid. He needs to get them out of their small town rut and be with Len in new surroundings. Which means college. Means exercising some strategic patience and enrolling wherever Len is. And once he's there he’ll make Len see him in a different light.

Yeah, he’s got a long-term plan.

Until it all goes straight out the fucking window.

He’s seventeen and hanging out in the backyard with Len when strategy deserts him. He’s listening to Len talk about Jocelyn, as usual, and then he hears the word marriage and nonononoNO.

The panic freezes him in place and then springs him into action, has him reaching out and grabbing because no, Len can’t, he can’t marry that…he can’t. And the kiss, it’s amazing, it’s everything Jimmy’s been waiting for forever and, “I…I’m sorry. Len, I’m sorry, I just…please don’t marry her. Please. Please.” God, please, please, Len, please understand…

And then he's watching, stomach twisting into vicious knots, as Len walks—runs—the other way.

As Len runs away from him.

He’ll give him a day. He’ll give him one day to freak out and then he’s going to track Len down because Len can’t just…ignore him like this. And, yeah, he’ll leave a few vid messages—okay, twenty-three, that’s not stalking that’s…fuck it, he doesn’t care if it’s stalking. He gives him another whole day, nerves jittering under his skin and on the third day, when he doesn’t receive a response, he books a train ticket and goes.

He pounds on Len’s front door and barges his way in and it feels like he’s fighting for his life, for his future, for their future and the world’s never felt so clear and sharp and his mind is racing and his body’s poised as he talks and he talks and he talks and...

"Okay."

For a minute, it doesn’t register.

The single, soft word.

The way Len’s shoulders sag in defeat and his eyes get that look that they always get when Jimmy’s managed to talk him into one of his 'harebrained, dumb-assed schemes.'

And then it hits Jimmy and it’s like fireworks going off in his stomach. Relief and triumph making him giddy, making him…

“Twenty-one.”

Shit.

Okay, he’s won. He should back off, should pick his battles, just... “What if I graduate early? I could totally graduate in three years, or maybe even two and…”

“Twenty. One.” Len glowers at him. “And you give your word. No more kissing. No attempts to speed things along. Your word.”

Jimmy stares back and thinks of ways to push. Every instinct he has wants to push, push, push, to have Len now. Only, Len still looks freaked, still has that totally unnecessary, wild-eyed guilt in his eyes and so Jimmy takes a breath and nods. “My word.”

Okay, he can’t help pushing a little more but, Jesus, four fucking years, he deserves something to keep him going. And the kiss he demands, holy fuck, even when Len just reaches out and runs a thumb over his cheekbone, Jimmy wants to lean into it so bad it’s embarrassing, only it’s not, because it’s Len.

And by the time Len tears himself back from the kiss and staggers to the couch Jimmy’s ready to explode and thinking that four fucking years is not an option, they're gonna have to renegotiate and...and then Len tells him to go. Orders him out.

And the thing is, Jimmy knows. He knows if he pushes Len will crack. If he just walks to the couch and sinks down between Len’s knees there’s no way Len will be able to...all he needs to do is...except fuckfuckfuck, he gave his word.

So Jimmy walks away, his dick throbbing in protest at every fucking step. He pauses at the front door long enough to glare back at Len, taking small comfort in the fact that Len looks in pain too, erection visibly pressing up against his pants. "I gave my word I’ll wait and I won’t push. But you can put us out of our misery any damn time.”

And he leaves.

 

He figures Len’ll crack. That the hard part's over.

Only he forgot how Len is the most ornery, most contrary, most stubborn asshole the world has ever produced.

For one thing, Len won’t let him go to the same college.

“No. You go to California or Texas or goddamn Savannah community college--actually, I'll kill you if you go to community college--but you stay the hell out of Augusta.”

“But…”

“No!”

Fuck.

So he enrolls in the University of Georgia in Athens. At least he can take the train over to Augusta on weekends.

Only Len won’t let him stay at his apartment. Which is fucking ridiculous because, what, does he think Jimmy’s gonna jump him? He’s totally not.

Okay, he might.

Fuck.

He ends up enrolling in extra classes because they’re easy and he’s got a lot of energy. He sulks and has random sex and, okay, maybe he enjoys college a little. He’s careful to let the men and women he hooks up with know it’s casual and for the most part it works out. Well, there’s Rayna. And Andy. But for the most part he’s pretty good at avoiding anyone who might get overly attached.

Because he belongs with Len.

He kind of ends up triple majoring in physics, engineering and philosophy. Hey, the core requirements have a lot of overlap.

 

He worries about the McCoys. It wears at him, gnaws at him because Len’s their son. Their real son and Jimmy’s just…what if they hate him?

They won’t.

They won’t.

They’ll understand.

Oh, God, what if they hate him?

Jimmy’s nineteen and back for break—stewing over the fact that Len’s not--and he’s sitting at the McCoys’ kitchen table, Mrs. McCoy overseeing something simmering on the stove while he eats her shortbread cookies and drinks a tall glass of milk.

“I’m in love with Len.”

He says it quietly and, as the confession hangs there in the air, Jimmy’s not sure he’s ever been this afraid. Afraid in this way. He stares down at his plate, terrified of looking up and seeing those warm hazel eyes turn cold.

He starts when delicate arms wrap around him from behind. When he feels lips press against the top of his head.

“Oh, honey, I know.”

It gives him the courage to look up. He still feels scared and young, but he looks and sees the affection still there on her face as she kisses him again.

“Oh, baby, you’re so young. So young. But I know. You and Len. I’ve always known.”

He stands and wraps her in his arms carefully—she’s so tiny now—and he lets out a shuddering sigh.

“When David comes home tonight we can talk.”

Oh, shit.

 

Dr. McCoy comes home and they talk. It is very, very awkward.

But it ends with Dr. McCoy’s hand patting Jimmy on his shoulder, curling around his neck.

And that night when Jimmy bunks down in the McCoys’ spare bedroom he starts shaking and can't seem to stop. Because this is his family. He loves his brother, of course, but Sam’s studying off-world, making his own life. And he loves his mom, he does, but she’s off in Starfleet, a distant presence who sends greeting cards a few times a year. And he could give less than a flying fuck about Frank. The only good thing the asshole’s ever done is to bring Jimmy to Georgia.

This is his family.

He goes back to school and he and Len communicate via vid because Len’s acting like Jimmy’s got some horrible, contagious virus and close physical contact will result in some world-ending tragedy because Len is a fucking drama queen. Len’s in the middle of interning in Augusta and looks like shit because he’s working all the time, dark circles under his eyes and showing the signs of too much caffeine. It’s frustrating as hell because if Jimmy was just allowed to go to Augusta he could take care of him.

Jimmy tries bringing up sex as a kick-ass anti-stress therapy. He gets a bleary eyed glare right before Len hangs up on him.

Fuck.

He’s twenty and, yeah, random sex is nice but he’s tired of it. He wants Len and there’s no reason for this bullshit and he decides it’s time for some desperate fucking measures.

He enlists Mrs. McCoy. It’s sneaky and maybe possibly pathetic but, hey, desperate times.

He’s not sure exactly how she manages it but Len’s home at the same time Jimmy is and they somehow end up on a date.

A real date.

Together.

At a fucking movie theatre, of all places, and, what are they, fifteen?

Although, darkened theatres do have some advantages.

“Stop that,” Len hisses at him.

“Stop what?” Jimmy asks innocently.

He can’t see the eye roll but he can definitely sense it.

“That’s not popcorn you’re grabbing there, Jimmy.”

Jimmy gives an eye roll of his own and moves his hand.

 

They’re on their way to the car after the show when Jimmy just…stops. Len keeps on for a few steps before realizing he’s walking by himself.

He turns, frowning. “What?”

Jimmy glares. Enough is fucking enough. “This is bullshit, Len.”

Len’s eyebrows snap down into a ‘V’ as he scowls. “Kid, you pr—”

“I know,” Jimmy snaps. He stalks forward, jamming a finger into Len’s chest who glares down at it, looking like he’s considering breaking it off. “But you are just being pig-headed.”

“Kid, you…”

Jimmy steps back and spreads his arms. “Do I look like a kid?”

Len stares at him and then sighs. “No, but…”

“I’m twenty fucking years old! We’re the same height now, Len. I’m old enough to vote. Old enough to…fuck it, I don’t know, to join Starfleet. Your parents have given their blessing. If I was anyone else we’d be fucking like rabbits right now and you know it. And you’re just gonna make us wait because you’re too fucking stubborn and set in your ways and it’s total bullshit is what it is and…”

“Okay!”

Jimmy stops in mid-whine. “O…okay?”

Len stares at him, rueful and grouchy and a little apologetic, and Jimmy can interpret every piece of it ‘cause he’s been obsessing about this asshole since he was…

He blinks. “Holy shit. Really? Okay?”

Len grunts. “You’re right. You’re all grown-up. I mean, hell, I’ve been thinking lately and…you’re old enough to…well, you’ve probably had more sex than I…”

Jimmy reaches forward and grabs Len’s wrist and starts bodily pulling him to the car. “Let’s go.”

“Uh, kid? I didn’t mean right now…”

Jimmy stops again and glares. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not giving you a chance to change your mind.”

“Look Jimmy, all I’m saying is…”

Jimmy stops again and turns and yanks Len to him. Pours three fucking years of want and need and frustrated lust and love into the kiss, using every trick he’s ever learned, every one of his very hard won skills, thank you the fuck much, as he grinds up against Len and his hand reaches down and…

Len’s strangled groan is very, very satisfying.

Jimmy pulls back, breathing hard, and smirks at the dazed look in Len’s eyes. “What was that you were saying?”

Len blinks and stares at him. “Fuck, yeah, let’s go…”

 

There is no way they can go back to the McCoy household to fuck. Not without both their dicks shriveling up and falling off from embarrassment.

Which would be a real fucking tragedy at this point.

Jimmy pulls into a local motel. They sit in the car and look up at the neon sign.

“Y’know,” Len says, “Mrs. Fogerty works the night shift here and she’s in mom’s cooking…”

“I don’t care.”

But Len stays outside and hides in the shadows because, okay, maybe they both care a little. Mrs. Fogerty’s a busy body and even if Mrs. McCoy is going to know, she doesn’t have to know.

Fucking small towns.

Jimmy swaggers up to the front desk, and maybe his reputed charm feels a little ragged right now, but he still manages to call up a wicked smile as he flirts with Mrs. Fogerty and deftly skates around her attempts to find out who he’s here with. Five minutes later he swaggers back out with the keycard to Room 207.

They’re walking up the motel stairs and it’s not his fault that Len’s ass is right there in front of him and he has permission now and…

“Fuck! Jimmy!”

“Yeah?” He grins up at Len's scowling face, entirely unrepentant.

And then Len kind of snarls at him and yanks him up the stairs, pushes him against the wall, and the look in his eyes...Jimmy’s dick is suddenly pressing so hard against his jeans he thinks he might explode. Then Len leans in and just sort of…plunders Jimmy’s mouth and oh God, oh God, think about something else, think about fractions, thing about derivatives, think about…

Len pulls back from the kiss and frowns. “Am I boring you, kid?”

Jimmy looks back, opens his mouth to spin a tale and then just blurts out the truth. “I’m trying to distract myself so I don’t come on the goddamn stairs.”

Leonard stares. “Fuck.”

And then he’s dragging Jimmy up the last few steps and down the walkway and they sort of fall into the room, Jimmy kicking the door shut, which is the last coherent action he’s capable of making because then Len is hauling him to the bed and shoving him back and straddling him and…

“I thought I was gonna be the one jumping you,” Jimmy manages to gasp out, breath strangling in his chest as he finds his shirt ripped open, buttons flying.

Len just looks down at Jimmy, sprawled out wantonly beneath him and Jimmy wonders if Len knows that Jimmy’s his. So totally, completely his.

Len growls. “You think this has been easy for me?” His hands splay over Jimmy’s stomach, move higher, move up to, oh fuck, yes, that’s…Jimmy’s thought process trails off into ‘nyarghhhh.’

And maybe Len does know, after all, because suddenly Jimmy sees the possessiveness etched in every scowling line of his face.

"Do you know how fucking sexy you are?” he rasps.

He fingers Jimmy's nipple and then pinches and Jimmy whimpers.

"Do you know how many nights I’ve jerked off to thoughts of you?"

He puts his own thumb to his mouth and wets it and then put it back on the nipple and twists and Jimmy kind of screams.

"Do you know how many goddamn times I’ve reached for the comm to tell you to hustle your pretty ass over to Augusta so I could make it mine?”

He leans down and sucks on the nipple, nipping at it and Jimmy starts to beg.

No apologies.

No shame.

Jimmy begs.

And apparently Len's done talking as he sucks and bites his way down Jimmy’s chest, raising goose bumps, leaving a trail of heat and shivers and oh oh oh, fuck, Len's mouth is going lower and there are hands at Jimmy's fly, and a distant part of Jimmy's brain thinks he should be doing something here. He’s supposed to be good at sex and people who are good at sex don’t just lie like a lump and let Len do these filthy, filthy, filthy things to...oh fuckfuckfuck, “FUCK!” he shouts and he’s coming under Len’s hot mouth and clever hands and, Jesus, he should really be embarrassed by this but no, he’ll just moan instead, because yesyesyesyesyes.

When he becomes aware of anything again, he realizes Len's manhandling him onto his stomach. Jimmy manages a grunt by way of assistance. And then he feels those fucking magic hands pulling his pants down and off, and those fucking amazing fingers parting his ass and, hey, where did Len get…oh, God…his brain short circuits again as he realizes that Len’s using Jimmy’s own cum to slick the way.

And from there he just floats, in a hazy euphoria, as Len methodically stretches him out and pushes his way in, filling him and Jimmy rides it, let’s Len ride him, revels in Len’s grunts and groans and curses, revels in Len’s words, “Fuck, Jimmy, so fucking tight, so goddamn perfect, so, God, yes, just like that, just…like...”

And then Len gives a harsh shout and one last, hard thrust before collapsing on top of Jimmy which is just...yeah.

Yes.

Jimmy wants to just stay like this for fucking ever, being smothered, because it’s Len and because he’s been waiting for so long and because it was perfect.

Well, except for the part where Jimmy maybe blew his wad kind of early but, hey, three fucking years. He’s got stamina, he’ll totally make up for it next…he feels Len pull out and he must make some noise of protest because Len leans back down and kisses Jimmy’s shoulder and mutters a reassurance before disappearing from the bed.

When Len comes back it’s with a damp, cool cloth which he starts sweeping over Jimmy’s fevered flesh in firm, practical strokes, and all Jimmy can do is lie there and whimper in appreciation.

Len just chuckles and then coaxes Jimmy to crawl under the covers with him, and all Jimmy can think as they settle in is that his adolescent self was a genius for deciding to crush on Len.

 

Jimmy's drifting off but manages to slit one bleary eye back open as Len nudges at him.

“Hey, Jimmy.”

“Mwuh?”

A warm hand cups Jimmy’s face and he leans into it.

“Worth the wait?”

“Mmm.” Jimmy manages one smug, sleepy smile of agreement.

And then he’s out.


End file.
